Since we have neighbors now and they are in fact friends and facebook friends…I must be mindful of such posts.

Not that they aren’t awesome.  Because my neighbors are stellar. It’s just that they may or may not be mentioned in my blogs.  It’s kind of a given.

This hood is a hoot!

The countless times I have already had to carry my kicking and screaming Natalie away from the neighbors houses because, God forbid we eat dinner together…as a family.

I pick her up however it’s possible.

Sometimes her face is close to dragging the ground, and her legs are doing these very strong kicks that barely miss my face. (Girl, you are about not have a place to live.)

But when we are all out in the street and she puts this behavior on, I stiffen up, like I have control over the situation of my child losing her shit, pick her up and whisper in her ear plenty of threats.

I know its age, or a phase, personality, whatever.  But my gosh, it’s draining….and fo-real embarrassing.

Andrew had that phase.  But it’s shelf life wasn’t as intense or long as Nat’s.  And he’s an introvert, so that’s a reason too.

Nat just doesn’t want to leave the party or miss out on whatever is happening.  I have to promise her, we will still be outside, she CAN go pee.  She will not miss out on anything.  We’ve had a lot of accidents and holdings of self.  Kid, just go to the MF bathroom and stop grabbing yourself.

She also likes to do this thing when she has to go, she’ll immediately take a random dive on the ground, her way of holding it in for a few more minutes.  It cracks me up!

And while we are on the subject of bathrooms….

Our neighbors Halle and Adde came over a couple of days to play.

It’s an unspoken understanding with the parents, if my child is at your house, kinda, sorta, keep an eye on said offspring.

Adde went to our bathroom, locks the door.

Josh comes outside, I’m reading a book on the porch because MY children are annoying me at the moment  (no judgement) and Josh was with all the kids inside house.  He had a handle on the chaos.

Anyway, he leans his head out the door and asks if I’ve seen Adde

He thought she went to the bathroom, locking the door but was not responding when he calls her name or when her sister called her name.

I was like, I haven’t seen her outside.

I come inside and knock on the door asking Adde to say SOMETHING, to know that she was in there and not missing person.

No answer.

Silence.

This is like 20 minutes into this situation.

I get the Phillips screwdriver, and Josh starts disassembling the door knob.  The bobby pin, was unsuccessful, this time around. (Something happened similar to this last year.)

I ask her sister, Halle if she had a nap today.  She hadn’t.  Ok, so maybe she just decided to grab a towel from the cabinet and take a snooze on the bathroom floor.  (We’ve all done it…)

Then I thought, damn it, if she pulled an Elvis Presley and is dead on the toilet.

WE ARE THE WORST NEIGHBORS EVER.

The clock is ticking and I pretty sure her mom Stefan would really like to know what’s going on ASAP.

One extreme thought to the next.  Because the kid wouldn’t answer!!!

Josh gets the outer knob off, I peaked in and there was Adde staring at us, just fine.

I run over to the Jones house and get her dad Matt (not Matt Jones the former razorback quarterback-I know total bummer, but this Matt is way better) and explain what happened and he calmly walks over and Josh has just taken the whole knob contraption off and Matt gets Adde.  She is holding the other knob once we were able to get inside the bathroom.

Can’t make this stuff up people. 

We were wanting to change out the door knobs throughout the house….eventually.  Since we really enjoy our privacy while on the thrown, Josh went to Home Depot and purchase a new door knob.

It is silver. Pretty. The other 10ish in our house are gold.

But what is the most awesome part about this whole situation is that the new knob came with a door un-locker thing with it.  (I’m sure there is a solid name for it, but un-locker thing is better)

I asked Josh where he put it…you know for the bazillion other times we are going to have to perform surgery on the knobs I would like to know for sure where it is.

He put it in the JUNK drawer.

I just can’t fathom how that was a great idea.   I mean, Josh is the most intelligent out of the both of us, but I have street smarts (that’s our phrase for all the crap I’ve been through that blows Josh’s mind and I feel like a contributing common sense member of this marriage) but he tends to forget that I throw crap away and I would have totally thrown it away.

The door knob un-locker thing is above the bathroom door frame.  Where it should be.

So my dear, awesome neighbors, if your offspring lock themselves in our bathroom, we got this.

Love, Grace, Peace and Laughter, my friends.

sarah

P.S. I went to visit Catie at the cemetery.  this morning. It was unmarked,  the director lead me in the right direction.  It apparently takes a mind-blowing amount of time to create a headstone.

I sure hope it was her, or I just spent 30 minutes praying and talking to some random stranger or an enlarged piece of dirt and grass.  Whatever it was, I sure hope Catie got a good laugh about it.

Not a day goes by without her on my mind.